'I’m a gentle parent & never shout when my kids have a tantrum, people accuse me of SOMETHING BAD but I don’t care'July 19, 2021
A MOM has shared an intimate moment between her and her oldest son as he threw a tantrum and she tried to work with him through it.
In the video, Jordan, a mom of two, shared an example of gentle parenting, which is described as a parenting style that promotes a relationship with your children based on willingness and choices, rather than demands and rules made by a parent.
In a TikTok video, Jordan showed her followers "how to be a gentle parent without letting your children walk all over you."
While kneeling on the floor of her home, the self-described Christian mom showed as she gently held her son back who was in the midst of a crying tantrum as he thrashed around in her arms.
In the video, she kept telling him that they couldn't go to where he wanted to as she added: "Establishing clear boundaries that you won't cross during this interaction."
This could be anything from raising your voice, gripping them tightly, punishing them, or resorting to physical violence.
She also added that she won't react to his physical outbursts as he continued to thrash around in her arms and even seemingly swung at her face.
"Using firm but gentle physical restraint to maintain the boundaries I set earlier," she continued.
"Giving him a clear and easy instruction to follow if he decides to communicate."
In the video, she then helped him put his feelings into words, though he was not choosing to do so, by asking him: "What do you want, honey?"
However, he continued to slip out of her hands as she kept a hold on him, adding: "Maintaining the boundary set earlier again."
She said that this move shows him that he is not being punished but that still, his behavior is not tolerated.
"The goal is to give him an objective," she wrote as she then began to tell her son he needed to talk to her instead of whining and crying.
Instead of putting him on a time out, she asked him if they needed a time out, to which he chose no and continued to cry.
As a result, she then suggested that they breathe deeply together, adding: "Let him know there's an alternative to this, but it's his choice.
"Setting an example for the desired behavior makes him feel less isolated and overwhelmed.
"I'm showing him that what I'm asking him to do is not scary or bad."
As he told her that he did not want to do the breathing exercises, she continued to do them with him, saying that it was his choice but that it would help.
She then suggested restating the objective, which was to use his words to say what he wanted.
Sadly, he continued to whine and her patience seemed eternal as she claimed that whining would not help the situation.
She added that, at this time, her son seemed like he wanted to calm down but did not know how so she offered him a hug.
"Offering the hug: positive physical connection is grounding and calming for young children," she said.
"Don't force the hug. Letting him decide to calm down puts him back in control of his feelings."
She added that you need to praise them for choosing to calm down with tons of praise.
And just like magic, her son had calmed down and cuddled into her arms before asking for some water.
"Now I'm relaxing the restraint and erasing the physical boundary I set earlier to reward his positive behavior."
The two then spoke that he wanted water after she asked him to use his words.
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